GOP: God's Own Perverts

I'm a little surprised that it's still newsworthy when a Republican gets caught up in a sex scandal these days. I'll admit though, it's such a sweet indulgence to watch their pompous fall from grace...Earlier this week, Sen. David Vitter (R-LA), golden boy of the family values twat-waffles, was exposed for having multiple sexual encounters with prostitutes in both New Orleans and D.C.What? A right wing hypocrite? But wait... it gets better!Today, Florida State Senator Bob Allen, a married Republican, was arrested after soliciting an undercover male officer for oral sex in a park restroom. Apparently, the authorities noticed the Senator cruising the restroom, so one of the officers followed him inside. The Senator then offered the cop $20 to let him perform oral sex on him. It seems that "Bob" really lives to up his name.I think the Republican Party could save its overworked aides a lot of headaches and writing cramps by just drafting an official prodedure and general press release that can be easily customized for future GOP sex scandals. Something like this maybe....Step 1. Appear at press conference with solemn faceStep 2. Stand close to whitebread family and American flagStep 3. Read the following statementMy Fellow Americans,I, Senator/Representative [insert name here], stand before you today because I have committed a terrible sin involving [watered down details here].After much prayer and counsel, I have came to the decision to [resign? lie? blame the media?]. I deeply regret the pain that I have caused my family and America and have prayed [endlessly? continuously? perpetually? ceaselessly?].In time, I hope you can find it in your heart to both forgive and re-elect me... God. God. Wife. Children. Jesus. War on Terror. The Bible. Radical Islam. America. September 11th. Sanctity of Marriage. Liberals. Satan. Islamo-fasists. Family Values. Osama bin Laden. Church. U.S.A. God. God. God.****7-17-07 UPDATE**** Senator Vitter must've read my blog and liked my advice....click here